The Fake Book Club: Finding Me by Viola Davis

And seven months later… it’s the first post for The Fake Book Club! Indecision paralyzed me for awhile, so I just decided to go with one of my favorites so far this year - Finding Me by Viola Davis. It was recommended by Danyelle, who loves cake so I trust her implicitly. She told me that this book probably changed her life, and to listen to the audiobook if I could because Viola reads it. I am going to pass that advice along to you, because listening to the book feels like sitting face to face with Viola, who is telling you the most tragic and beautiful story. It is not a glimpse into her life, but a door flung open. It is so honest and so raw.

There’s a part in the book where she is on set with Will Smith. He asks her, “Who are you?” She says that she is Viola Davis.
He asks her again. She repeats her answer.
He asks again, “Who are you?”
Then he explains how he sees himself. He says he will always be that 15 year old boy whose girlfriend broke up with him.
Viola says: “There I was, a working actress with steady gigs, Broadway credits, multiple industry awards, and a reputation of bringing professionalism and excellence to any project,” she writes, “Hell, Oprah knew who I was. Yet, sitting there conversing with Will Smith, I was still that little, terrified, third-grade Black girl.”

It was one of my favorite moments of her story, the realization that despite the dream-filled life she had created for herself, she was still letting the bullies who tormented her define who she was. She chiseled her way out of her circumstances, but the escape had only been physical. She was still living in her past and in the poverty, the abuse, and the racism that shaped her. But she found that she could re-create her life. And in that discovery, there was love and hope and even forgiveness for the broken things and broken people that surrounded her. Your life is always yours.

It is a book that stays with you, because how could you look away when someone shares their soul? It shows so clearly the dichotomy of human life - the love and hurt, the joy and pain, the hope and despair - in the most extreme circumstances. It leaves you with that unassuming question suspended between the pages - who are you?

The details:
Book: Finding Me by Viola Davis
Genre: Autobiography
Audiobook: Do it
No. of days I think about this in a week: 5/7
Recommended supplies: Tissues, comfort food, headphones if you listen around kids
Can I binge: Yes

*Trigger warning: Lots of heavy things like child abuse, domestic violence, etc.

Welcome to the FBC

Warning: there will probably never be a TL;DR for anything I write. I love talking and run on sentences and if you ask me a question you’re going to hear about my life history, cake, and a random clickbait headline that recently washed up on the shores of my mind. And then what was the question again? Saying “It’s a fake book club!” is much too efficient, so here’s a bunch of other words first.

I used to be the kid who got in trouble for reading too much. How could anyone do chores or homework when Mary Higgins Clark was always lining up another character for sudden and predictable death? I definitely couldn’t be bothered. As soon as I finished one story I’d pick up another. But towards the end of college the pile of books on my nightstand started to stack up while my time slipped into a jumble of work and babies and a loop of forever trying to catch up — that ever dangling carrot of next week. If I made it through a book or two a year I was ready to take a victory lap.

Then last year Amy (@amypaynedesign) posted her annual reading list — so many books! I couldn’t figure it out — how did she have time to read? We live parallel lives as unusually tall stationery designers with blonde hair and four kids a piece. Except she also does science-y things so is infinitely cooler. Still. How did she Hermione-time-turner her way through so many books? The magic — audiobooks.

I downloaded the Libby app, linked my library card, and queued up the 10 book limit. I hit play last January on Sue Monk Kidd’s Book of Longings and just finished 168 Hours (not the arm cutting off story) before January circled around again. There were a lot of get-your-life-together-please type of books, with a little bit of everything else sprinkled in. I can listen while I work on patterns or prep files or just to drown out Julian when he’s in a really bad mood and yelling at me for some toddler injustice. Win-win.

To celebrate my renewed literacy, I’ve decided to start a book club. Not a real book club though. A fake one. One where we don’t read a book together, don’t meet up, and don’t really talk about it much at all. Think Reading Rainbow without the music, picture books, or Levar… basically Reading Rainbow without the charm. I’ll share a quote surrounded by nature-ish things and maybe write a couple of semi-cohesive sentences. If you read it, or even glance at it, you’re in! Welcome to the Fake Book Club.

The Books of 2022
The Power of Moments Chip & Dan Heath
The Power of Habit Charles Duhigg
The Power of Writing It Down Allison Fallon
Atomic Habits James Clear
Joyful Ingrid Fetell Lee
Organize Tomorrow Today Selk, Bartow, Rudy
The Miracle Morning Hal Elrod
The Last Lecture Randy Pausch
The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up Marie Kondo
Spark Joy Marie Kondo
Big Magic Elizabeth Gilbert
Blink Malcolm Gladwell
The Moment of Lift Melinda Gates
Just Mercy Bryan Stevenson
168 Hours Laura Vanderkam

Say Nothing Patrick Radden Keefe
The Looming Tower Lawrence Wright
Permanent Record Edward Snowden
American Kingpin Nick Bilton
Shoedog Phil Knight
Red Notice Bill Browder
The Book of Longings Sue Monk Kidd
Little Fires Everywhere Celeste Ng
The Vanishing Half Brit Bennett
A Court of Thorns and Roses, A Court of
Mist and Fury, A Court of Wings and Ruin,
A Court of Frost and Starlight Sarah J. Maas
Project Hail Mary Andy Weir
Class Mom Laurie Gelman
The Cruel Prince, The Wicked King,
The Queen of Nothing Holly Black

Books I think about all the time: Permanent Record, Say Nothing, Just Mercy
Book that made me wonder what type of criminal I’d be: American Kingpin
Books that changed my every day: Atomic Habits, Tidying Up, The Power of Writing It Down, Organize Tomorrow Today
Book I wanted to hate but loved: Project Hail Mary
Books that made me blush (and roll my eyes): Court of Thorns & Roses series

The Books of 2023 (so far)
Grit Angela Duckworth
The Anthropocene Reviewed John Greene
Turtles All the Way Down John Greene
The Sentence Louise Erdrich
The Psychology of Money Morgan House
Between the World and Me Ta-Nehisi Coates
Court of Silver Flames Sarah J. Maas
How to Change Katy Milkman